...

The other day when I was out in the external world trying desperately to accomplish anything at all and this woman at the checkout decided to tell me several times that I looked like I was famous. I didn't really say much at all I probably seemed like a jerk but it confused me. Maybe it was just my coat although she could just be one of those cis women who are just way too nice on purpose. I cant stop thinking about it because I know that nothing could be further from the truth about me. my voice reaches no one like a star with no name but I guess its selfish to want more than that. then theres another part of me that can't help but wonder is the presence of the savior, the emmisary so obvious? must you be worthy to see it or can you tell from even a pale reflection you haven't come to understand? is it that palpable what we are and to whom and how many is it so in such a quick glance at our existence. dont get confused by this feeling you feel when you see me...

Someone so close to me, and yet not me and the rules of life meant there is no way I can change this! It's a tragedy dont you think? I'm supposed to be a god but I cant even save myself from this place! Where is the other me that I require? Is the world is only a place to wander and learn from aimlessly?? like a dream you fall in and out of???Is the twisted world I want to destroy only my own?! I placed a bet with myself as the wager! So that in the end I could love myself! I cant give up before the end so dont worry! I don't know if the world will end! At worst ill just disappear! :)

Reveal the truth of which the heavens are silent, and show me the answer!