"If who I am, something I cant change, makes people nauseous, what am I to do?"

i dont know if im going to be able to take how much we must be punished for what is required to save us but at this point of control... if i dont kill them all soon its still going to be me. i simply wish to think and act outside the dogma of a conviction called common sense. i just want to be genuine and im doing eveything but oh god its just like high school again. why must we always run away. why must i have to be indescribable while being able to remain undefined. why can i only desperately try to go against the flow of the external world, while we build a wall around our inner one. i cant guarantee that i will become anyones anything yet that is what WE require from them! we cant give let alone promise anything to anyone! THATS WHO I AM! WILL YOU ACCEPT ME?

ONE MORE DESPERATE: WE REQUIRE A GREAT AND DASTARDLY ADVERSARY

ONE MORE TIME I SCREAM: ONCE WE HAVE KNOWN HER WE MUST DIE, BUT NOT YET!

how long can only these things fuel the roar of our engine while we putter past the binary world line, far past illusionary world, on these entirely unpaved roads!

"Refuse when societies ruler tries to measure you. You must embrace your own value that only you know. It's very painful to do alone. Still you must do it. Because only those who do can unexpectedly connect with and encourage somebody. It may never happen, but if nobody does it then it will never happen."